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Mom: Who are you texting?
Me: My crack dealer

ziamchapel:

oK BUT LISTEN IMA NEED LIAM TO START WEARING HENLEYS ALL THE TIME

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(via spellniall)

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neptunain:

go into a starbucks in NYC and say very loudly into your phone “this movie script is stale and trite! we need some new talent, someone with a fresh outlook” and wait

(via coming-out-crazy)

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sophsmiths:

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.

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(via majorvirgin)

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